God Of All My Days
When Lent began this year, I really sat and thought about something special I could do to bring me closer to God and lead me to some time reflecting on Him each day. When Asher's journey began, my focus was truly on God and praying for Asher. It was a blessing to be able to spend time each day with Him in prayer and through my blog posts. For it was my blog that truly kept me strong.
After Asher arrived home, I continued to pray and praise God daily. I tried so hard to keep up with the blog, but as we all know, life gets busy and my focus was keeping Asher safe and healthy and being a stay at home mom to my two boys. So time for the blog just wasn't there. But there was one thing that I never could let go and never can let go... one thing that truly connects me to God..... praising God through Christian music.
So where am I getting at? Well, just as writing is one of my passions, so is my love for Christian music. Driving home from school the other day I was listening to KLOVE of course as it is the one station my car radio stays on, and it just hit me. As this Lent I want to grow closer to God, I began thinking why not take moments throughout these 40 days and give it to God and my blog. And how about integrating the Christian music into my blog? There are some songs that I listen to throughout each week that truly have a special meaning in my life and I truly connect to, whether it be in the car, at home, or even at school with my students. So here I am. I have dedicated this evening to creating my blog and first post of this Lenten Journey growing closer to God above. I will post once a week throughout Lent. I hope you all journey with me throughout this Lent and find a special connection to the songs I share on each post as well. For it was music that got me through my hardest moments in life, and it is music that calms me and relaxes me.
Today's Song: God of All My Days, by Casting Crowns
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYkZE8AogDE
I have always loved Casting Crowns, and I connect to many of their songs. This new song of theirs is the perfect song to begin this blog with. For God is truly a God of all my days. It is He who gets me through each day... especially those stressful days. No matter what I may be experiencing day by day, He is there. He NEVER leaves! He is always there to listen, to guide, to love, to comfort, to keep me strong.
"I came to You with my heart in pieces
And found the God with healing in His hands
I turned to You, put everything behind me
And found the God who makes all things new"
For those words make me reflect to 3 difficult moments in my life... 1. My brother's passing, 2. My Mom's brain tumor, 3. Asher's Journey.... my heart was in pieces through each of these moments... but I turned to God and he brought healing .. I had to let go... and let God. And through those tough moments... he brought a new outlook in life.... he turned the scary moment, to a moment to look back on and treasure. At one moment I didn't know how to live without my brother, but then I was given the gift of having an angel to watch over me. At another moment I was so worried and scared for my mom, but God gave me strength and made me strong.... he again let me strength grow for what was going to come a few months later. And then a moment came where I thought my baby boy was going to be in Heaven with God, and I didn't know how I was going to go on... but God was only leading me a beautiful miraculous journey beyond words to describe. Through all these moments he brought me a renewal of strength I never knew I had.
"I looked to You, drowning in my questions
And found the God who holds all wisdom
And I trusted You and stepped out on the ocean
You caught my hand among the waves
'Cause You're the God of all my days"
These words again make me reflect back to the 3 difficult moments I mentioned above. As through each of those moments, I felt like a big wave hit me and I had to find a way to swim out... and I did.. because God was there and I looked for him and reached to Him. He then caught me and carried me through in such beautiful ways. These words also remind me of the anxiety I had returning to teaching this school year. I remember thinking to myself.. how can I go back to work? Will Aisher be okay? I have kept him safe... how can I leave him? What if I bring sickness to him? I remember crying a lot as school neared because I just
didn't know if I could do it. For the last time I was there, that scary moment occured... the moment my water broke at just 22 weeks. Would I have a flash back? But then I turned to God... and prayed to him a lot about it. And it was through prayer I felt Him speaking to me and saying you will be fine my child. I felt him calling me to go back to teaching to share my faith with the 2nd graders I teach. For it was a God Moment that I was teaching in a grade where I get to prepare students for First Reconciliation and First Communion. And then it also hit me, I can't think back to that scary moment. For truly how blessed I was to be at school when it happened, in a place where Christ truly shines, a place where I was surrounded by some of my closest friends. So I trusted God, and returned. Yes it was a little rough the first few months, from adjusting, from missing Asher, and all the colds we had to face and conquer after being in quarantine for a year... but again God caught me and has truly guided me to feeling back at home teaching and guiding me to let that anxiety slim down some.
I fell on You when I was at my weakest
And found the God, the lifter of my head
And I've worshiped You
And felt You right beside me
You're the reason that I sing
'Cause You're the God of all my days
Again it is when I am at my weakest I turn to God and he lifts me back up. And just like it says... He is always right beside me and it is because of Him I sing praise... it is because of Him I listen to KLOVE daily... it is because of Him I am reflecting on songs of Him through my Lenten journey.
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